4 months

Things are going very well.  AJ just turned 4 months.  He is sleeping anywhere from 7 to 10 hours a night.  It's awesome!!  We usually put him down between 9 and 10 and then he sleeps till 530 or even as late as 800.  Sometimes Steve has to wake AJ up to take him to daycare.  I don't know how he's sleeping so well but it's been great.  

He's now rolling too!   He loves rolling from his back to tummy.  Now he tries to roll on his changing pad, in the crib when waking up, and today on the doctors table.  He also learned to roll onto his back again from his tummy!!  ❤️

He got a clean bill of health!!  He's tall(long) and skinny.   She said she could see his teeth under his gums.  They will make their debut soon.

He's still breastfeeding well and pumping is going great at work.  I pump three times a day.    I've got it all down to a little routine.  I'm so happy that it's all going well now.  

AJ is so alert now.  He's tracking objects, holding toys, and loves to "stand" up!  Busy busy boy.   

Now that I'm working I will probably only blog a few times a month.   The little man keeps me pretty busy.  He's so amazing! 💙💙💙

Daycare

AJ started his first week of daycare.  Steve took him his first day.  He stayed for a little while to make sure he was settled.  When he left he was already playing.  He picked him up for lunch and he snoozed the whole time.  So far so good.  The plan was to have Steve pick up AJ that night.  As I was walking to my car at 615 I got a text from Steve saying his car wouldn't start!  I work 30 mins from daycare and they close at 630.  So I started heading that way while Steve scrambled to get his car jumped.   I didn't get there till 645!  So embarrassing and upsetting on his first day.  Of course AJ didn't care. He was just rocking away in his chair.   But Steve had the car seat so we had to wait for him to get there.  Once in the car AJ started crying.  The worst cry I've ever heard him make!  So I started crying.  I was so flustered from being late.   I had to pull over and nurse AJ in a parking lot.  He nursed for 20 mins.  Poor baby.   Then we headed home.  Not the best first day.  On his second day Steve picked him up early!  And Friday I left early so I could make sure I was there on time!  AJ seemed to like daycare.  He drank well and napped well.  When I picked him up Friday he was asleep at 615 and slept till 830!  Being away from AJ sucks but I'm glad he's happy at daycare.  

Lots of updates

Last week was my first week back at work and AJ turned 3 months old.  It was also my 7th wedding anniversary.   It wasn't the easiest week but I survived.  It's taking some adjusting to getting up at 5:00 and then staying up and working hard all day.   I've been getting up, feeding AJ and then pumping.   I was worried about not producing enough milk but that's been going well.   Once at work I've been pumping 3 times during the day.  Getting it down to a little routine.   Probably the hardest thing at work is scuba diving.  It's gotten cold in Florida and our water is 73 degrees.   In case you don't know that is very cold for diving!  We have to wear thick wetsuits that are awkward with lots of of weight to weigh you down.  It's physically tough!!  We usually take about 2 hours to clean the pools.   I will say that I'm going to be back in shape in no time.    I had a small meltdown after my first day back.  It's really hard to find the balance of work, husband, baby and also myself.   I just have to adjust my thinking.  I was having major guilt about going back to work.  Honestly having a meltdown helped.  I cried it out and got all those feelings out. I feel better about things now.  

Steve took care of AJ all last week.  He did great!! It's not easy to do it all day when you aren't used to it.  AJ doesn't nap as well as he used to and wants lots of attention.  It is taxing sometimes.   

AJ had his first Halloween.  We didn't do a costume.  I couldn't find anything I liked and Steve had to work.  This was our first Halloween in our home.  I didn't know how many kids we would get so I of course over compensated with buying lots of candy!!   It was not easy dealing with trick or treaters, a dog who ran to the door with every knock, and a baby who was hungry.  But we did it!!  Next year I want Steve to be home to help!! 

He was sleeping better at night but has reverted a bit.  He was doing almost 7 hours but this week he has been getting up at least once or twice again to eat.  I will say that it's at least not as long.  He tends to eat faster now.  At this point I'll take it if I get even one long stretch!  

AJ is now 3 months old and cuter than ever. He is holding is head up so much better.  He hates his car seat now.  He wants to be held up right so he can look around.  He's drooling like crazy and eating his hands.  He loves kicking his legs up and can now almost roll over to his belly.  He giggles sometimes and loves to play airplane!!  He's outgrowing his clothes fast.  He has chubby legs with rolls now.  I'm absolutely in love!! 

Last week...

This is my last week of maternity leave.  I really can not believe it.  I'm really sad about it.  I have been up the last couple nights worrying about it.  I'm so scared to return to work and leave my baby.  Before having AJ, I thought it would be easy.  But I never knew how much I would love being at home with him.  We've just started to get into a routine and I have to leave him.  I'm so worried he will have milestones at day care and not with us like sitting up, crawling, etc.  I don't want to miss anything.  I'm also worried about being tired.  I'm so scared about being so tired from working and taking care of him.  I'm sure we will get in a routine but this sure isn't going to be easy.  Thank goodness I at least love my job!   Time will tell....

One year

It has been one year since I started my injections for IVF.  I still can't believe all we went through and that IVF worked for us our first try!   Getting pregnant was very tough for us.  We tried for over 2 years.  Seeing negative pregancy test one after the other was very hard.  I was very nervous to find out why we couldn't conceive.  I was afraid that we might not be able to and I didn't want to hear it.   But with my mother in law's encouragement, I finally got a test done to find out.  I learned I had a hydrosalpinx in my tube and would never conceive naturally.   That was a tough day. But also a good one.  We could finally move forward.  We then started down the road of IVF.  Looking back now it's so crazy to think how many doctors appointments I went to, how many times I got my blood drawn (probably close to 30) and that I self administered over 50 injections!!  But today I am holding my baby in my lap.  All so worth it.  It's amazing how many people have told me they have fertility issues.  I hope I can be beacon of hope for those people!  Infertility can be a long and scary road!   In the future if we want to conceive we will go down the IVF road again.  But we have 2 embroys that are frozen for the future.   It will cost less the second time since the most expensive part the first time is getting your eggs ready with medications and doing the aspiration.   But we now have fertilized embryos.  So for second baby (hopefully) I will need to take a little medication, and pay to keep our embroys frozen each year and pay for a second implantation.  We plan to wait a couple years to watch AJ grow up before we have second child.  The cool part is our embroys are frozen at age 30!  So even if I wait till I'm 33, our embroys will be more viable at age 30.  They say frozen embroys actually even take better than fresh!!  So hopefully when the time is right we can add to our family!! 

10 weeks

Ahh.  He's 10 weeks now!  He's grown so much.  He had his 2 month doctor visit before his trip.  He's now 10lbs 8 oz, 24 inches long and has a 16 inch head!  His weight is a little low but going up.   We have to do a weight check at the end of the month to make sure he's growing like he should.  

AJs Outtawomb tour

We spent 11 days traveling to virginia and New Jersey so AJ could meet and visit his family.    We had a wonderful trip!!   I was very nervous about flying with a newborn.  But seriously I don't think it could have gone any better.  We had a plan from the get go.   Aj nursed right before we got on the plane and as we were taking off he fell asleep.   And he slept the whole time!!  Steve had to get our rental car so I stayed at the terminal with AJ.  It took almost an hour!  Luckily I nursed AJ and then he was wide awake but was just happy.  Then we drove to my parents house.   AJ got to meet his Great Grandma, Aunt Kristi and Uncle Mike and his cousin Keira that night.  And revisit with his Grammy and Pop Pop.  The next day he met his Aunt Christy, Uncle Matt, cousins Jack and Maggie.  My best friend Lori even came for a visit.  He was a little fussy that day.  But he is used to just me and him and that was a big change!   We got to spend a few more days with my family.  It was pretty relaxing and AJ slept well.  We traveled up to NJ to be with Steve's family.   The car ride was long.  We had to stop a lot for him to eat.  Took us 8 hours when it used to take 5 1/2.  Again AJ was great until the last hour.  I think he was done being in his car seat.   We spent the weekend with Steve's family and friends. He met lots of family on Sarurday and was so good with people holding him.  He slept the best he ever has up there.  He slept 7 hours one night!!!  I woke up at 6 and checked to make sure he was breathing. Before that he was only doing about 3 hour increments.  We took him to his first pumpkin patch.  We got chilly weather for it which was perfect.  We got a couple pumpkins, cider, and went through a corn maze!  He was sleeping the whole time but we had a blast.  On the trip home AJ was awake the first half of the plane ride but then fell asleep the last half. He was perfect!  

We had such a nice trip.   It was our last for a while.  Between me being out of time off and the cost of daycare we won't be able to travel much.  So we are so glad we were able to get home to introduce our baby!  

8 weeks

AJ is 8 weeks.   Wow.  He's becoming a little person.  He can hold his head up pretty well now when he's upright.  He's making all sorts of cute noises!  I love that.  And he smiles all the time.  

We had a low moment last week.  I had a day where I felt terrible.  I thought I might be getting sick.  I was fatigued, achy and had chills.   His thrush flared up and was giving me tons of pain.  The day got harder and harder and when I tried to nurse him at 7 I was having horrendous pain.  I decided to give him a bottle but when trying to make the bottle he was screaming so I started crying too.  Poor Steve got home to both of us balling.  We decided that I would pump for a day to let my body heal.  I took a long bath and Steve took AJ for a while.  That was such a great decision.  I've felt good all week since.  My body has healed and it barely hurts to feed him.  

I was nervous about pumping enough but I did ok.  It seems like he drinks more from the bottle than he would if he nursed.  So I did some research and found out that's true.  We started to offer a pacifier after the bottle and it's helped a lot!  I may also try premie nipples on the bottles to slow the flow.  He sucks down the bottles even with the newborn size.   I'm nervous he'll  drink more at daycare than he really "should" or actually needs to.  But I don't want him to run out of be hungry.  So I'm starting to freeze some so I can build my supply.   

We took AJ to the zoo this weekend.  I needed to get out.  It was a quick trip because it was hot.  But I was able to see my boss and coworker.  It was nice catching up.  I saw my cute bears, new skunk, manatees, our wolves and Panther.  Made me a little more happy about returning to work in a month. 

Tomorrow he gets his 2 month shots before his big trip to VA and NJ to visit family!!!   Big week ahead.  We can't wait! 

Also side note:   He loves his Boppy! 

7 weeks

7 weeks today!  AJ is getting big!  I'm still having pain with breastfeeding.  I have good days and bad days.   I'm hoping we will get through the bad days.  I've had a few moments where I've wanted to quit.  But the good still out weighs the bad.  Being tired does not help!  I had a small meltdown this am when I was in pain.  But Steve helped me and gave me a pep talk.   Then I took at 2.5 hour nap. Much needed!  

We got some good news.  Steve got the job as a manager of a Golftec center closer to our home.  He starts in October.     It's only 15 mins from our house, 1 mile from daycare, and he got a raise.  It used to take him 45 mins to get to work so this is huge!  Steve is going to be our daycare person. He'll take AJ and pick him up.  We only need daycare 3 days a week and found out that our daycare will do that.  So we only have to pay for the 3 days instead of 5.   That will save us like $60 a week!  Good news.  

What a difference 7 weeks makes....

Pre pregnancy shape

I had my 6 week check up.  I'm all cleared to work out.  After sitting around for 6 weeks, I am very excited.    I plan to start running again.  I will run when Steve is around in the evenings so he can take AJ.  I went out last night and did a run/walk for 25 mins.  It felt great!  It wasn't too hard and I feel pretty good.   I have about 10 lbs I'd like to lose to get back to where I was pre pregnancy.  I understand that will take a while.  The biggest thing is getting into some pants other than maternity.  I may have to go buy a pair before that happens!  I also want to work out to get my body used to being active.   Going back to work is going to be killer.  I'll be on my feet for 12 hours, in the sun, lifting 40 plus lbs each day.  I will also start scuba diving again.  I'm really excited for that!  It's been almost a year since I last dove with our manatees.    So here we go! 

Boba

Today out of desperation I pulled out our boba carrier.  I just hadn't gotten around to using it.  But AJ wouldn't stop fussing.  I nursed him, held him, put him in his swing and still was fussy.  As soon as I put him in the boba he got quiet.  10 minutes later he fell asleep.  

We are both now relaxed! Phew! 

6 weeks

This week has gone a little better.  We tend to have good days and bad.  Overall  he isn't eating as much.  Tends to have one day of eating all day and others where he sleeps a lot!  Nights are going better too.  He slept from 930 till 215 last night!  But he was up most of the day and was very fussy.  He finally wore himself out.  We are getting him to sleep in his cosleeper better.  He has to be out cold!  If he's even slightly awake then he wakes up as soon as you put him down. We may try his crib to see if he likes that better.  

We got his head X-rayed.   They had to strap him in.  He was not happy!  He cried the whole time.  They had to roll him in his side while he was strapped in.  Steve stayed with him the whole time.  It was adorable and sad at the same time.  But good news is that his head is not fractured.  His hematoma has calcified and will take a few months to heal.  

He is starting to grab things.  I brought out some toys yesterday and he grabbed one.  Not really on purpose but he still held it.  He is growing like crazy!!  He looks huge in his car seat now.  We don't need to use the head support anymore.  

I've started taking walks with him and Ethel each night.  I'm doing pretty good with pushing the stroller and walking Ethel.  It's nice to get out and about!!  

Breastfeeding woes

I've hit that point where he is cluster feeding.   Today he's pretty much been eating since 2am and it's 530 pm now!  I think we got 1 hour sleep in there.  He'll fall asleep for like 15 mins then wake up yelling to eat.   Not the worst thing except his thrush is still around.  The night before last was the worst!!  It was so painful.   It's mainly on one side so today I am having him nurse on one side only and pumping the other.  Luckily he's taking a bottle great.  We actually switched to a Dr Brown bottle which he seems to like a lot better.   Steve has offered him a bottle throughout the day so I get a 15 min break.   Once we get the thrush cleared up then I will feel better.   I'm glad he's growing but it sure is tough on me.   They weren't kidding that the first 3 months is hard!!   

1 month checkup

AJ had his one month check up!  

He is growing but more up than out.  He is going to be skinny and tall.  Today he was 8 lbs 12 oz.  He is up 2 lbs 2 oz from birth but still only in the 23%.  He was 23 inches today which put him in the 90%.  Not sure where he got the height from considering we are all pretty short.  

AJ was born with a hematoma on his head.  Usually they are more common with vacuum births.  His was pretty big but it has gone down.  But our doctor wants us to get his head X-rayed to make sure it's not fractured. 

Otherwise he looks good!  

One month!!

Our baby is one month!  It's going by so fast!  It's been a great month.  AJ is def getting bigger.  His newborn outfits are getting tight.  I put on a bigger onesie today and it actually fit him pretty well. They used to sag on him.  

Unfortunately he caught Steve's cold.  Has a stuffy nose.  Started using saline and sucking out his nose but he sure did not like that!   Poor baby.  

We started a bottle with him this week.  Since we will have to take him to daycare we knew we needed to start a bottle.  They suggest starting it at 4 weeks.  I had to pump in the hospital so I was already familiar with it.   We had Steve start the bottle.  Good news was he took it right away!!!  He was a little sloppy at first but getting better each day.  Steve was eager to help more so he started offering him the bottle around the 5 am shift whenever he wakes up hungry.  It's helped me get a little more sleep!  AJ didn't have the best week.  Very restless at night.  As soon as we would set him down he would start squirming with grunting, groaning, and crying noises.  Lately he's up till 1 am then up at 3 and takes almost 2 hours to go back to sleep.   Rough!!  So having Steve help a little has been really nice.  I am lucky to have such a wonderful husband.  Steve has been great.  He really wanted to feed the bottle.  I am just glad AJ started to learn how.  

3 weeks

Starting yesterday it is now just Steve and I.  We have had family here for the last 3 weeks.  I feel so lucky to have the family I do.  Not only did we have help in person, but I also got help from my sisters-in-law from afar.  We were lucky enough to have my mom here for about 2 weeks to help out.  It was nice to have the company since Steve went back to work the week after AJ was born.  She helped with laundry, cooking, shopping and of course the baby!   Steve's family came down this week to stay.    They also helped us around the house and spent lots of time cuddling with AJ.  I have had some issues with breastfeeding so I have reached out to my sisters-in-law for advice.  They both have beautiful children.  They have been a HUGE help.  It's nice to reach out to people who have been there before.  

I am on leave until Oct 21st.  I feel like my leave is already flying by.  Which is scary and sad.  We are going to take a trip north to visit our families at the end of September.  It's not easy for everyone to get down here to see us, so we wanted to make sure we took AJ to meet them.  He will get to meet his aunts, uncles, cousins and great grandmother.   My great grandma can't travel any more, so we really wanted to make sure we got up to VA to have her meet AJ.    We are going to visit while on my leave since I won't have much time off after I return to work.  

AJ is 3 1/2 weeks now.  He is getting bigger and stronger.  Yesterday he rolled onto his stomach on his own.  Very scary and crazy!   But don't really want him to do that just yet.  We have started tummy time, doing just a few minutes for now each day.  He can lift his legs and hips up.  I think once he does start moving, he is never going to stop.  I am trying to enjoy the sleepy, not moving baby for now.  :)  

I will have to get used to having a messy house now.  I am very used to cleaning a lot!  So now that our help has left, I have to come to terms with things not being in their proper place.  That's not going to be easy for me.   But I am sure I will adjust!

We took AJ out for his first big adventure today.  Steve ran in a 5k at the zoo.   It ended up being about 2 1/2 hours, and he did great!    He slept the whole time.  He got a little fussy on the way home but overall was great!  I was very nervous to take him out.  But luckily Steve runs fast so we didn't have to be there long.   It was nice to get out of the house for a little bit.  It's been really hot here, so we can't go out very much.  Luckily the race was at 7:30 so it wasn't too hot yet.  Minus being super tired, we had a nice time.   We just came home and took a long nap!  Also something I am getting more used to taking!

2 weeks

Still hard to believe he's mine.  Another week has gone by.  So crazy!!   

I had a lactation consultant come to the house Monday.  She showed me some tips to have him latch better.  She said I was already doing pretty good but showed me a couple other things.  Unfortunately she helped us determine that he has thrush.    I quickly made an appt at the dr so we could get him on meds.    She said that's probably not helping my pain when I nurse.   It's been about a week he's been on meds.  He looks a lot better.  He gave it to me though.  Fingers crossed that once we clear this up then breastfeeding will go better.    

My mom left Wednesday.  It was very nice having her here to help us.  I liked having the company too because Steve went back to work almost 2 weeks ago.   

I'm getting used to the long hours.  Sometimes AJ eats all day and other times he rests longer.  The toughest part is getting him to go back to sleep sometimes after eating in the middle of the night.  He is a night owl.  He's always wide awake from 10 pm till 1 am.   That's probably the hardest part.  Right when I'm exhausted he's wide awake.  

Overall things are great.  I love being a mom.   

The first week

Time is flying.  Of course.  That's how it always goes.   AJ is already 11 days old today.  It's been wonderful, challenging and tiring.   We ended up spending 3 days in the hospital.   The first day was tough.  He wouldn't latch on to me for the first day or so.  It was very frustrating.  He was just super super sleepy.   Because he wouldn't latch on I had to pump to make sure I was keeping my body in track to have my milk come in.   I kept trying him every 2 hours. The nurse that night wasn't my favorite.  She made me feel like I was doing something wrong and really worried me.  She said he would have to go on formula if he didn't eat.  So of course I cried.  I knew I wanted to breastfeed .  No one really warns you that it might not come easily and that your baby may have a hard time latching on.   It has been beyond hard.  So the nurse went and got the nurse practitioner.  She was much nicer.  She said not to worry.  Babies are often very sleepy after birth.  Don't do formula, just keep trying.  Phew!!  What a relief.  The next day my nurse Keisha was so much better.  She said "we will get your baby to latch today".  And guess what?!  He finally did.  Still not consistent but at least he could.  They were supposed to do his circumcision that day but since he hadn't nursed well they wanted to hold off.  They said babies are usually really sleepy after circumcisions and since he already had been they wanted to wait.  So he had his procedure Friday morning.  But he couldn't go home till he peed.  So we waited, waited, waited.   By 8pm he hadn't peed.  We really wanted to go home.   But even by then we were starting to worry.   The nurse said they had a couple tricks they could try.  First was putting him on the scale.  Babies almost always pee on the scale.  No luck.   She said we could try a smidge of formula.  So we said ok.  I gave him a couple gulps of it.  An hour later, we checked.  No luck.  By now it was 930.  We figured we would stay one more night.  But just as the nurse changed his diaper, he peed!!!  We were thrilled!  So we left the hospital at 1030 at night.  It was really nice to go home.   Mom and dad were here visiting so mom helped us get him out to the car.

Steve's parents, MJ and Mike, came on Saturday afternoon.  We had a very full house !  It was nice to have all the help and also overwhelming.  I had a couple of break down moments that Steve helped me through.  It's true that you do get the baby blues.  Stupid hormones!!  By Saturday night though we wasn't latching again.  I wrote to my wonderful sisters-in-law for advice.  Thank goodness for them.  Their advice helped me get through the night.   I was and still am having pain when I nurse.  Not just a little but ALOT !   Toe curling, crying pain. I know they say it can take a while to get used to things but I knew this wasn't right.  Otherwise women would never breastfeed.  So I called a lactation consultant who gave me more advice on how to have him latch on better.  It's been helping but not great.  I am going to have a home lactation consultant come to the house to help me.  I want to breastfeed as long as I can.  At this rate, I wouldn't make it very long.  Hopefully she can help me.  

AJ is doing great though.  He's nursing anywhere from 1.5 to 3 hours.  I'm getting used to nights.  He's super active from 10pm till 1am of course!!   My mom is still here helping.   She's doing our laundry and cooking meals.   I'm learning to take naps during the day.   We usually sleep in till 11.   As in were up at 5 am, 7am, 9am for eating and sleep in between feedings.   He's peeing and pooping consistently now too.  We call him double tap because he always poops twice.  But usually right after we change him of course!  

Being a mom is awesome!  He makes me so happy.